A Life Well Lived

Moving Blogs

2011-06-23T19:02:00.000-07:00

So I've moved my blog over to tumblr. Not sure if I'm going to keep this one or not, but follow me on tumblr through RSS... Read my ramblings to Eisley! :)

loribarrow.tumblr.com

Pregnancy

2011-05-14T10:26:00.000-07:00

Ok - so I LOVE being pregnant. I'm sorry to all you mommies out there that have a rough (and sometimes down right awful) experience growing a new one in your belly, but I actually enjoy the experience (for the most part!). I've heard all the complaints - the "I hate those women who positively glow when they are pregnant", or the "I can't believe any pregnant woman would put pictures of herself knocked up all over her house" - I am that woman. Ok, not really that extreme, I don't have prego pictures up in my house... yet... and I think I look pretty dang good, but other people keep telling me I do too. My face isn't fat, I only have slight swelling in my ankles (cankles), and I'm "all baby." I feel pretty good with the weight I've gained and I have a pretty positive outlook on my "recovery" period after. So if you are one of those women that hate women like me - you may want to stop reading now. :)

Besides the beginning of this pregnancy when I felt pukey and gross most of the time, I have felt energetic and good the rest of the time. Of course there are my moments of achey-ness, nausea, cramping, irritability, emotionalism, and you probably don't want to ask Will about his take on this pregnancy (or maybe you do to make you feel better), but it really has been amazing.

Which brings me to now, one week to go (maybe), and I'm trying to process this experience, and the fact that it may be the last time I bring forth a child into this world. That's emotional. There really is nothing more amazing to me (besides all the God stuff), than the fact that I have another life forming inside my body - that isn't part of my body. It's SO weird - and amazing. And the fact that I don't have to do anything to make it happen, I don't have to try to grow it, it just does it by itself. Amazing.

I think I've realized that when you don't have all the negative side effects of pregnancy, it is so much easier to enjoy all the really cool stuff. Like the way it feels when the baby moves - from the first tiny flutterings to the really painful rib jabs, I love it. I love watching my stomach bounce and bubble around, sometimes resembling what I think it would look like to have an alien inside. And amazingly enough, I love the way my body changes to adapt this little thing inside. It is quite extraordinary how my belly can stretch so much (and no, I don't have stretch marks, another blessing I know), and all my organs move around inside with really minimal pain and discomfort. Minimal is the key word here. I don't enjoy the enormousness of it, but still, it blows my mind to think of all the little changes that have to happen to make this little life possible. Again - amazing.

And now it's almost over. For the last few weeks people have been saying - oh not long now! - or the really rude ones, What - were you due yesterday? And I haven't felt like it. I have felt amazing. (key word for this blog obviously!) I am not super clear on the end of my other pregnancies, but I feel that this one has been the easiest ending yet. I didn't feel like I could go into labor anytime, I wasn't really feeling ready even. I have been patient for this girl to show up. Yes, I want to meet her, but I know it will be so much harder once she comes, especially with her two brothers already here. And again, if this is the last time, I want to enjoy every minute of this experience that only we as women can possibly have. I want to savor her movements inside (that's the part I always miss the most) - and the quiet moments when it's just her and I and already there is that mommy baby connection. These are the moments that matter, that I want to remember after I am holding her in my arms.

Now the crib is set up, her sheets are made, the laundry is done and folded in her drawers - I'm officially ready. And finally, I feel ready too. I am ready for her to come out now. I've enjoyed this time to the fullest, but the excitement of meeting her is overshadowing the excitement of her being inside. I've had the realizations that I can paint her toes, get her ears pierced, and see every blow-out as an opportunity to play dress up. I've had enough rib-jabs, stabbing downward pains, uncomfortable nights, and crazy belly dancing to see me though. I'm ready to drink beer and wine again, have all the sushi I want, and be able to sleep on my stomach. And I'm ready to want my husband to hug me again (we're way beyond intimacy issues here - I barely want to hold hands at this point! Poor guy. Sorry Will - it's not you, it's me.)

I'm still emotional, I'm not ready to say this was the last time yet. And if it is, I'm quite content to live in denial about it. I'm kinda expecting to have some baby blues after she's here - especially if I think about this being the last one. So I'm not there - that I need to process more. But I'm ready for her to come. I'm not crossing my legs and hoping she'll stay (well, I am for this weekend because my doctor isn't on call) inside for a week more. I'm sure by my next doctors appointment I'll even be ready for her to encourage this process a long a little.

But it's been a great ride (dang it, I'm tearing up). I am so blessed for these times of pregnancy and thankful that it hasn't been like the horror stories I've heard other people had. I'm so thankful for that. I've seen you friends go though really awful stuff, and I know I'm lucky. And I'm not trying to rub it in :)

So that's that. That's my take on pregnancy and I'm excited to post about newborns next time!!! :) And probably I'll put up some prego pics too (sorry) once my sister gives them to me.

Mamma's Rock Giveaway

2011-04-29T13:58:00.000-07:00

SO I haven't posted anything in FOREVER - it really is my goal to do it more often. Well, more of a purpose, since a goal has a time line and specific steps to accomplish and I haven't made any of those to be a better blogger.

BUT - right now I've entered in this super fabulous giveaway on one of the crafty sites that I love - and if I blog about it - I get an entry. So I'm blogging :)

Really though, I know the chances of winning this contest are pretty small as there is almost 1800 entries already - but it's been so fun to even look through all the venders that have donated their goods towards the giveaway. It's 138 prizes worth about $6500!!! That's a lot of webpages to look though. I don't think I'll get through them all, but it's been a nice distraction while on my mandatory "Veg" rest. (Not quite bed-rest, but strict don't do anything).

All you moms or ladies who love crafty things should check this out - even just for kicks!

http://laurawinslowphotography.com/blog/2011/04/28/laura-winslow-photography-presents-mamas-rock-giveaway-2011-over-6500-to-one-winner

And seriously, I'll get back to blogging soon. Especially with pics of Eisley and the boys!

The Meat Market

2009-12-04T20:56:00.000-08:00

So today Lori took me to the vegetable and meat market. Now, I've seen a lot of things with all the traveling we've done and countries we've been to. But I thought this was a notable experience to share with those that may not be as fortunate to experience the joys of a Chinese meat market.

First off, let me say that I am thankful for once that I am here in the freezing cold. I can not imagine what such a place would smell like in the heat - no check that. I can imagine - we passed through just a place in India in the middle of summer, worst smell I have ever experienced EVER. So I am thankful that I did not have that fragrance to accompany this trip.

In the middle of the square is a large open building where the vegetables are. I liked this part. Tables and tables of veggies - you could make really good salads or stir fry. It was really beautiful - the colors and smells of the produce. The venders are funny - Lori has been told to bargain for the prices, but they don't budge, so she doesn't think it's really a place to haggle the price. We bought some lettuce for our hamburgers tonight. We are having a teacher and her family over for dinner, and they make american food when the host local guests for meals. Last night we had fajitas - yummy!!!

Then comes the meat. All around the outside of the vegetable market are stalls of meat sellers. I think it is arranged by type of meat - but some venders sell multiples types. There are hunks of meat sitting on the tables - huge carcasses hanging from hooks on the ceiling. After asking several people for beef and being directed in several directions, we ended up at Lori's mutton man - he also had beef. There are feathered chickens in a pile to one side of the table. There is half a sheep or some animal laying on another part - some ribs, and then chunks of cut beef around the table. She asks the man for 3 jins (lbs) of meat - to show she wants it ground she makes a really funny grinding noise while making almost a movie motion with her hands to show grinding. He understands. He asks if we would like bones in our beef - not for tonight thanks! He places chunks of beef on the scale until it reaches about 3 jins.

Then the grinder. Who knows how long this butcher has had this grinder. It is well used, and probably has never been cleaned - ever. There are at least 3 types of meat he sells - today. So most likely, this grinder has ground 4-5 types of meat over the last years, with no cleaning in between. (Is your stomach turning yet?) So, he grinds the meat into a bag - double bags it and gives it to us to take home. Time to pay - Lori hands him the money, and he gives her change. He gives her change without washing his hands - I don't think they wash their hands at all throughout the day! So - we have contaminated meat and contaminated money. Just saying - don't ever let your kids play with money in other countries!

So, now we have our ground meat to make hamburgers for dinner. I think it goes without saying that all burgers are well done in this China House!

On the way around we pass a row with a crate of live chickens. These are the fluffiest chickens I have ever seen! They are actually kinda pretty - all white with these little blue spots on their faces by the beak. I peeked inside the shop they were outside of, and there were feathers everywhere! This is where they kill and pluck them... I have had to kill and pluck a chicken before, so it wasn't too startling, but still, a real look at another culture of butchery! Next comes fish - they have tanks of crowded fish (live) and then they have trays of dead ones - some skinned, some not. I'm not big on fish, but considering we are in the middle of China - no where near the coast - I would definitely go for the live fish!

In addition to meat and veggies - you can buy various canned goods and spices in this market as well as pots and pans (for under one dollar!) It was a great afternoon and really interesting to see the way the chinese in this city acquire their food!

Pictures!!!

2009-12-03T00:27:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving! Our Chinese Thanksgiving at Beijing Duck! Yum :)

Carving the bird....

Liam and I outside Beijing Duck - with the duck.

The market - notice the GIANT Zucchini??? That would make a LOT of zucchini bread!

The meat market - yummy eh?

Eli and Alleyah making tortillas! Funny the first time we make tortillas we are in China!

Liam at the baseball game with one of the university players. Will gets to help coach a team for the 2 weeks we are here. Their last game is this weekend since it is getting TOO COLD!

Cute kids - I really love the girl's tuke!

Busted! Liam is always hungry and trying to get into snacks!!!!

The Small Things

2009-12-02T22:43:00.000-08:00

So -here are some small things about china that I have noticed that may easily get passed by in a newsletter/update/emails/slide shows. It's nothing too exciting - but small things I would like to remember.

-When we first arrived I noticed a LOT of people (well, mostly women) wearing face masks. I thought - wow - everyone is really really cautious about getting sick. Then I noticed they were stylish face masks - all sorts of colors and patterns. And I learned, they were face masks for the cold, but it probably doubles for germs as well.

- Most stores and restaurants have thick blankets hanging in the doorway to keep the cold out when the doors are kept open. It feels like you are going into a tent or fort everywhere you go.

- There is no cold water here - they serve it hot everywhere.

- Most kitchens have big sliding glass doors/walls separating them from the rest of the house.

- For some reason, my friends here have to go to the Post Office to refill their gas card. (Gas for their house - everything is prepaid here.) Not sure where the connection is between gas and mail.

- Chop stix and rice. Enough said.

- They do construction 24 hours a day - the off shifts sleep in make shift tents on the sidewalks.

- Eli's favorite thing about China right now is the kitties. Our friends have 2 kittens and when Eli woke from his nap today, he came out and said, "there are so many kitties in my bed with me!"

- The have these rooms - we would call them sun rooms - in every apartment. This is where they hang their laundry to dry. It is very cold in these rooms right now, but apparently they warm up a lot when it's nice out. The kids like to play in them - they again are separated from the rest of the house by a sliding glass door.

- There are a ton of taxi's here - but it can take up to 20 minutes to get one!

- They really do have 100 year old eggs in the stores here. Not sure if it's considered a delicacy when they are everywhere.

- There is only one type of cereal to buy here and it is in the chip aisle.

- The milk is so pasteurized it is not refrigerated in the stores.

- We can only buy real coffee at a local coffee shop where they bring it in from the Tibetian villages. Otherwise - it's all nescafe.

- Oh- my friend here says that everything you buy (clothes) here, the buttons will fall off... so I will be sure to redo the buttons on such purchases when I get home!

- Um - that's it for now. I'm sure I'll think of more little things later.....

China!!!!

2009-11-27T21:16:00.000-08:00

So I thought I would try to write a quick up date about our time here so far! We are having a great time here with our friends. It is day 3 - we are slowly adjusting to the time change - the boys slept until 5 this morning so that was great!!!! We are pretty tired but hoping to soon be over this transition so we can have late night talks with Morgan and Lori!

Our Thanksgiving here was nice... didn't feel like thanksgiving really, but we were half zombie! We had thanksgiving dinner at this nice restaurant called Beijing Duck - where we ate - beijing duck! My first experience with duck - the soup they make with the leftovers tasted turkey though. It was really fun, our first chinese restaurant here - we met some others that are friends with Morgan and Lori and it was a nice time.

Other than that - we have spent our days with the jones and are resting and adjusting to the time. The weather is freezing - we are waiting for snow - and we are getting good exercise walking up the 6 flights of stairs to their apartment!

Eli and Liam are great. They are eating well and having a blast with their friends. Eli says it is really really really cold here and shivers. He is also a trooper climbing all the stairs - with Liam and our stuff, we can't carry him. He slows way down about the forth floor - and says whew all the time... it's cute! Liam loves spending time with the 2 cats here - Figaro and Norah - he chases them and laughs at them a lot. When we first arrived on the way home from the airport there was a traditional chinese building with christmas lights on it. I said to Eli - look at the lights! He said - Hey - it's like Kung Fu Panda! He also loves the noodles like panda, but he wouldn't try the dumplings (like the ones panda and shifu fight over in the movie) -which were delicious!!!

Tonight we are going to another chinese restaurant with Chinese Dishes - sweet and sour pork, garlic broccoli, eggplant, - the real good stuff! We are definitely loving the food!

I think that is all for now. We don't have much hope of learning much language while we are here - it is really difficult and we have no context for the sounds. I have learned hello, and two other phrases that aren't much good for conversation (not that they are bad - just not that useful!)

We are doing great and loving being here! Thanks for all your thoughts - keep em coming!

Keep looking to Will's facebook for pictures - we can't really post them from a computer!!!!

A Life of Faith

2009-04-26T18:27:00.000-07:00

We are going to India next week. It has been a crazy adventure lately! Last week we were in Colorado for a YWAM conference for North American leaders. It was a great conference. It didn't start out so great. We left on Friday night to drive (yes I said drive) to CO. On a good day it should take 18 hours. It wasn't a good day. We hit a lot of obstacles which just made me more determined to get there. I figured that if the devil was trying to block our way so hard, there must be some amazing stuff going on! Anyway - after long stops with the kids - trying to eat breakfast at the slowest Burger King EVER - a whole in a heating hose in the car - a snowstorm in the mountains - a HUGE car pileup 12 miles from Denver - a detour through the mountains (that actually saved us probably 2 hours!) and a crying baby the last hour - we arrived in Fort Collins 22 hours later! Praise the Lord it was over!

Anyway - long and short of it - it was an amazing week. God has spoken to us a lot and we are excited to be home and to start putting some of these words into reality.

So - next week we are off to India. We have yet to buy our tickets!!!! CRAZY. Anyway - we have been trying to buy them for about 4 weeks now. We haven't had the money - we haven't been able to find good ones, we find good tickets but don't have money....etc. So this past week we were really praying about this. This trip has been the most difficult to get the finances for and so we wanted to seek God and see what was going on. We also asked our staff and some friends to pray for us as well.

During one of the sessions our speaker was talking about as leaders we need to lead lives of faith as an example to the other staff in our mission. I really felt that that was a word of God to me. That this trip is definitely pushing us further in our faith. We are trusting God in the last minute - holding onto the promises and His Word. Another friend at the conference shared how she had recently heard from a YWAM leader that "The Word of God is our provision." So His Word is what we go on. Will and I prayed again and we felt that our whole family WAS to go to India, and so we were to pursue this with our whole hearts, no reservations.

So we are walking this faith out now. Since then, we have seen over $1000 come in and we have found some great tickets we are buying tomorrow. The really cool thing is that for this trip we will be flying around the world - going East all way! It's kind of exciting as we have never done that before.

So I am super excited about this upcoming trip. We will be visiting two of our teams in India - first in Calcutta, and then on the coast in Visak. It is going to be an amazing time!

Please be praying for us! We would love prayer for safety traveling and health! From traveling, from food, from sickness - especially Liam crawling, it makes me a little nervous and I will definitely be a little OCD about keeping him clean!

Yay God! He is ever faithful.

Poop goes in the Potty...

2009-03-09T21:27:00.000-07:00

Tonight, Eli pooped in the bath - while it was full of water and he was supposed to be getting clean. I was not exactly speechless - but definitely at a loss of what to do at first! I got him out - put him on a towel on the floor and used his kiddy potty bowl to scoop it out of the bath into the toilet before draining the tub. Thankfully I am not pregnant or I would have been gagging and needing the toilet for a different use! Anyway - that was disgusting. Scrubbed the tub and put Eli in and gave him a quick shower with a cup! OH MY GOSH _ if that ever happens again it is so Will's turn.

While we were getting his jammies on, we just kept talking about how we don't poop in the bathtub, only in the toilet. So - "Eli, where do we go pooppy?" Eli - "In the toilet - not the bathtub!"

Cute and not at the same time... Oh - the life of a mommy.

Success!!

2009-03-02T20:09:00.000-08:00

After trying to get Liam to take a bottle and formula for a few weeks - we have succeeded today! Will got him to take a bottle of my milk but it wasn't very much, so then he made formula and he drank it all! I am so excited and relieved...

On the down side - I think we may be wrapping up with b-feeding. I think my milk is drying up and I'm pretty over trying to make this work. I'm not sure if I'm completely ready to be done done with it, but I am at least relieved to now have an option.

Anyway - so that's good.

The Love of My Life

2009-02-19T16:35:00.000-08:00

My husband is amazing. I am so lucky to live my life with him, to share this journey of parenthood and spend all my time with him. I love you babe.

Sleeplessness

2009-02-10T22:23:00.000-08:00

Having 2 boys in the same room is hard. We are trying to get Liam to sleep through the night - but with Eli in there too, it's hard. Liam has a habit of waking up every 3 - 4 hours to eat. This is really annoying to me. (Sounds bad as a mom- but physically, he doesn't need to eat that much - I'm not really being mean.) I know that he can sleep through the night (2 times in Columbia - and 2 other times) and he is fine. SO- I want to be able to go in his room when he wakes up, check his diaper, hug and sooth him for a minute or so and then lay him back down and let him go back to sleep. Rarely does this work smoothly. Most of the time he screams bloody murder for 10 minutes or more until I go back in and pick him up because then Eli is crying to, or worse, he thinks it's time to get up and play.

The worst time is the early morning

hours because if it's 6 or a little after - Eli is up for the day. Nobody should have to get up before 7 (spoiled a little!). Anyway - this whole process would be a lot easier with more space. We are wanting more rooms when we move in August - but if we get 3, we'll probably still have the boys share so we can have an office/play room...

So that's my rant for tonight.

Christmas in Canada

2009-02-06T21:02:00.000-08:00

Right after our time in Columbia - we spent one day in California and then went up to Canada for the holidays. Talk about weather extremes! Needless to say - our bodies did experience some shock. We had such a good time with the family - it was the first time all 5 cousins have been together and it was a lot of fun. I'm really looking forward to watching them grow up together!

Christmas in Cartagena

2009-02-06T20:49:00.000-08:00

We spent the first two weeks in December in Cartagena Columbia - that is South America....

It was weird to be in such a HOT climate in December - and to see Christmas decorations everywhere. I loved seeing Santa's climbing over balconies - instead of sticking out of chimneys.

They don't have large Christmas trees in Columbia - so they make big trees out of lights!

Fireworks are all part of the Christmas celebration - these went off right over our head!

All around the old town of Cartagena - they put up these huge blow up figures of historic people and events. The pirate ship is symbolic of the attacks that used to come around the walled city. It was Eli's favorite.

One of our favorite Columbian Christmas sites. We were there for the first lighting of this plaza - it was really beautiful.

Little Liam

2009-02-04T22:29:00.000-08:00

August 19. 2008. My second son was born. It was quite a different experience than my first. Eli was a long labor - but I had an epi so it was mostly pain free until the 2 hours of pushing - that was excruciating. Fun - but so worth it! Liam was different. I prepped myself more for this time around. I felt that with Eli I was not mentally prepared for what birthing a child would truly be like. So this time - I read a lot. I asked my doula friends for advice - for pain management - I read a labor and delivery book to refresh all my classes from Eli. I felt prepared for the long haul. I knew I would prefer to have pain medicine - but I knew that I had some tools to help me until I could get it.

August 11 was the due date. It came and went. I was ready for him to come. The waiting is the worst part. It's the anticipation of the most exciting and potentially scary thing that will happen to you - and not knowing when it will happen. August 18 - one week late and my next doctors appointment. I figured we would discuss inducing (I did not want pitocen) but that she would probably wait a few more days to see if he came and schedule me for later in the week.

Not what happened. I went in that night!!!! Talk about shocker and weird feelings. It's weird to know you are going to have a baby in the next day or so. It's weird when the anticipation turns into a little trepidation and fear of the next 24 hours. We had a few hours until we were to go to the hospital. Went home, finished packing, dropped Eli of at the Jones house, and went to get a quick dinner. Got to the hospital at 7 - checked in and got settled, at our dinner we took to go.

At 9 they gave me this medicine that softens my cervix so that I can get pitocin to start my labor. The first medicine can stay in for 12 hours. I figured I would have a good night's rest before the fun began. 11 - went to sleep. 1 AM - woke up with strong contractions every 5 min that I couldn't sleep through. 2:50 AM - Have to pee - really really bad. Will was sleeping with ear plugs in - I manage to sit up and throw a pillow at him. He helps me stand up.

HOLY COW!!!! The contractions don't let up or stop - I make it to the bathroom after a 5 min walk 10 feet. Probably takes 10 minutes to pee because I can't relax through the constant contractions. I finally make it back to the bed. Nurse comes in - manages to take out the medicine and checks me - I'm 6 cm. 3:20 AM.

I freak out. Ask for an epidural - haven't even had a full bag of saline through the IV - can't get an epi until that goes in. Yeah right am I going to get that epi. 2 minutes later - I really want to push. They get me a little stadol (I'm among the few who LOVE it). I'm 10 cm. I'm really freaking out. There is no way I can do this without an epidural - somebody give me one NOW! I can't do this, seriously - I can't do this. Once I said I can do this - they wouldn't let me forget I said that.

I started pushing. I don't know how to explain it. I'm fully aware of what is going on - I can feel all the things happening in my body - the need to help the baby down the birth canal - the need to push him further and further so he can come out - the extreme pain, but at the same time - mentally - I feel separated. I wonder if it's our coping mechanism for going through something so intense. I was there - and above it the whole time. And I made it over.

3:45AM - Liam is here! Thank the Lord it's over! And he is so beautiful - and small! Thank the Lord for his small head! And he was posterior. Crazy. He had a knot in his umbilical cord! OMG _ thank God. It could have been so bad and he is healthy and safe. No wonder he was smaller than Eli - and thank God for that too!!! :)

7 lbs 13 oz. 20 inches long. Small head - that's the most important. And so beautiful. I'm a mom - again. It's amazing.

20 minutes later my mom, dad, and best friend arrived. Sorry you missed it!!! But I'm glad it was that fast! I love being a mom - I love being a woman and being blessed to go through this amazing journey. I can't wait to do it again ( but in about 2 years)

Return to the blog

2009-02-03T19:31:00.000-08:00

So I haven't blogged in FOREVER. A lot has changed. I will try to post some blogs that I have rolling around in my head from the last 8 months....

Pregnant in Patong

2008-05-11T07:53:00.000-07:00

So I've had my first real taste of mommy-hood in overseas missions. It's hard work man! The flight wasn't too horrible, Eli did sleep a lot, but it could have gone better. There were moments when Will and I just looked at each other and said - we're those parents right now with the annoying crying kid. Thankfully there were few of those moments. We eventually made it to Thailand - praise the Lord! This is our 4th day here - Eli is finally adjusting to the time - one major nice difference is that he naps for 3 hours plus making up for lost sleep!!! That's nice. Down side - wakes up every night at 2:30 in the morning for about 45 minutes before going back to sleep. He needs a snack then! Kinda funny wierd.

Other than that - things are going well. It's nice having the team with us - Eli loves them and has warmed up to them a lot so there are more hands to watch and hold him. I'm at the point of not being able to hold him for more that 5 minutes without being exhausted, so extra help helps a lot! He is a little trooper though! He is getting friendlier with the locals. Will wants to make a shirt for him that says "I'm a big deal in Thailand." EVERYONE loves him here. They are always waving, touching, kissing (ones we know), and trying to hold him here. They just have this thing for white kids I think. He is pretty darn cute I must say :)

Being pregnant is having it's advantages too. Well, first, you have to throw out any idea of personal space and privacy. Anyone and almost everyone will come up to you and touch your belly. They all want to know how far along I am - if it's boy or girl, etc. When they find out it's another boy - they tell Will he is a strong man for having 2 boys! Funny. Once you get past all that - I have lots of perks. I get the front seat - free chairs at the beach - and best of all, the lady next door where we eat our meals made me a pineapple smoothly tonight! She brought it over for me and Eli - but since Eli is sleeping - she said it was for me and the baby. Delicious!

Anyway - Thailand has been an adventure so far. I would love to come back to this country and visit some other areas. Where we are is very touristy and sad - lost of bars and prostitution - sex tours etc. It's hard to see it up front and in your face at every hour of the day. But it's reality here and they all definitely need Jesus.

Anyway -just a keep post - I should get to bed soon and I need to return the smoothly cup to the neighbor!

23 Weeks

2008-04-16T14:59:00.000-07:00

Eli is having a great nap today! It's been 2 hours already, so I only have about 2 minutes to post! I just wanted to post a prego pic. this is me a 23 weeks. Before this is over, I''m going to be HUGE!

Things are moving right along. The baby is healthy and growing and I am doing great! We can feel him from the outside now, and if he's really acitve you can watch my belly bounce a bit! It's super fun.

Eli is not quite sure yet what is going on. He loves my belly though. He loves to look at it, and his favorite thing is to pull my shirt up a bit and lay his head on my belly. We tell him he is giving his brother hugs. :) Sometimes he will kiss it and say hi, but he doesn't really understand yet! When we get back from Asia I'm going to get him a little boy baby. (Can't say doll, Will protests enough as it is.) But I want him to understand the concept of a baby and get the basics of how to act towards him!

Ok, better go before he wakes up!

The Verdict is in!

2008-03-26T17:49:00.000-07:00

Drumroll please.....

I was right - it's a boy!
We couldn't be happier to welcome another little man into the family. Eli needs a little boy to play with and I think it will be so fun to watch the brothers grow together! It's nice too that we pretty much have everything we need already! Now I can just pick out some things that I really want and be set to go!

So without further ado -
We'd like to introduce our newest family member - Little Liam

Boy or Girl?

2008-03-21T11:45:00.000-07:00

Before I got pregnant I felt that we would have another boy before we had a girl. I thought, that would be fun, 2 boys to play together and it will be easy since we have all the boy stuff and know how to care for baby boys. Then I got pregnant.

I still had the thought in the back of my mind that it would be a boy, but I really started wanting it to be a girl! I figure I would like at least one boy and one girl, and right now we think we want maybe 4 kids, so if I could just have a girl now, it would relieve all pressure and suspense to have a girl the next time. Anyway, I started getting excited about having a girl, thinking how fun that would be. But every time I thought of the baby, I kept calling it he in my mind, so I think I subconsciously thought it would be a boy. And Will and I can't agree on a girl's name, so that is a sign it's a boy too (not really, but that's what happened with Eli too).

Then my sister called and told me she is having a girl. So I thought, well, there go my chances of having a girl, the girls taken for the family! It's a boy for sure. So I have been telling people I think it's a boy. But now, ever since that has happened, I keep calling the baby she in my mind and thinking it's a little miss kicking me inside!

So I don't think I have any idea what this baby is!!! My mind is very mixed up and confused. I'm still rooting for a girl, but I would love having another boy - Eli is so much fun...

Guess we'll have to wait until Monday to find out!!! Hopefully the baby cooperates and shows off a bit! I'll keep you posted!

4 months pregnant

2008-03-08T20:56:00.001-08:00

I love being pregnant. I really do. I love feeling the baby move inside. I love thinking about how it's so weird that I have something growing inside my body that isn't actually part of my body. It's really weird. I love having my belly grow and having people know I'm expecting. And at 4 months, I even love maternity clothes. It's like getting a whole new wardrobe, and who doesn't like that! By 9 months I won't love them, I'll hate them, and I won't love my big belly - I'll be really sick of it. But 4 months is good, everything is good.
And I'm a lucky girl because I haven't had any sickness with both my pregnancies. I felt a bit nauseous in the beginning, but now, nothing. I think I get some pretty bad headaches, but I can take Tylenol, so it's not that bad. I know I am very blessed with such easy pregnancies.
At 4 months though you start feeling pregnant. I can feel the little flutter movements which is so amazing, but I also feel my hip ligaments stretching and my stomach muscles stretching already too. At the end of the day my body is sore already! I can't wait to get into my pj pants (even out of the stretchy maternity ones) so that my belly has room to breath! My lower abdomen muscles feel like they are getting a tough workout carrying around my baby bump all day - and I'm not even that big yet! Just fun signs of what is yet to come. I am so excited though. Even with all the aches my body is telling me about, with more of that also come bigger baby movements (which it's moving right now!) - pretty soon people will be able to feel it from the outside. And even farther along we'll be able to watch as it somersaults in my tummy - that's pretty trippy watching an elbow slide across your stomach. And in 2 long weeks we will hopefully get to find out what the gender is! It seems like forever but I know it will go so fast. I'm so impatient to know who is joining our family!
So, I'm doing good. Excited and physically exhausted, but really good. One of these days I'll have to start taking belly pictures like I did with Eli. Looking back on them I don't feel they are that flattering, but it's fun to have a record of these special times in life.
I need to go put on my pj's now... :)

Motherhood

2008-02-26T14:28:00.001-08:00

Is beautiful. It's one of the most fulfilling things in life. It's a joy to watch Eli grow everyday, to learn new things and explore his growing world. It's super fun. It's also the most trying and exhausting things to live. Today I feel worn out. I think the pregnancy is hitting me - I'm tired and I don't have super lots of energy, but my son does! :) He goes and goes and goes. Today he learned how to listen to ear phones with the Ipod. It was super cute. He would hold one up to his ear and then start bopping to the music - He loves music. He loves to dance, he loves to play the drums and strum the guitar. I think music is in his veins. So that was fun. Then we had to walk home - 1 block - to our house for his nap. He is a great walker. He loves to walk home and to the DTS house and he runs and it's fun, but now he's starting to notice dirt. And rocks. So every time we pass rocks (which is a lot because every house on the street has a rock lawn) he wants to pick them up and thrown them and sit down and play in them.
When I can finally get him past the rocks, there is a dirt road we walk on. He likes to play in the dirt too. So every 2 feet he sits down, runs his hands though the dirt, and then takes handfuls and throws it getting half of it in his hair... this is frustrating for a mom trying to walk her child home for a much needed nap with her hands full of bags and journals. He also learned today that if he just starts to sit while we are walking and holding hands - I can't drag him - this happened every 2 feet. Finally I had to wrestle him into my arms - a very heavy guy, and wiggly- to carry him home for his nap. The joys of motherhood! :) I'm kinda dreading the end of this pregnancy when I'm not allowed to pick him up anymore - I have no idea what I will do then! Just remind me to take it one day at a time! It is the best thing in the world to have children, and the fun and joys far outway the small daily trials and tiredness, but it's healthy to vent, so here's me venting a little.

Facing Dragons

2008-01-21T12:10:00.000-08:00

Yesterday at church my pastor talked about stepping out of your comfort zone and really pursuing radical life for Christ. Truthfully, I was really convicted.

The majority of the world was 'discovered' in a 30 year time frame. Starting in 1492 when Columbus sailed the Ocean Blue - North America, India, Madagascar, the Philipeans, and more where all discovered. Why is it that nothing happened for hundreds of years and then all of a sudden the world became bigger? P. Tom was saying that he thinks it's because Europe was trapped in a bubble of fear. They were very comfortable in their own world with what they knew and didn't want to know about the great unknown. On maps from way back then, when map makers didn't know what was beyond the boarders of their maps, they would write things like, "Beware, dragons lurk here." Or "Giants Be Here" and "Fire Scorpians Be Here". In the oceans they would draw big sea serpents because they didn't know what was there.

A lady came up and shared her testimony about what the Lord has been doing in her life. She is probably in her mid 30's and she has two kids - 8 and 9. She is a nurse and has really solid boundries that help her in living her life and in her work life too. It's good. A couple months ago the Lord told her that some of her boundries were getting in the way of Him doing what He wanted to in her life. She had these ideals of being a mom and needing to be safe and be there for her kids and not take any risks. God wanted her to take some risks. So he had her go to Mexico - an "unsafe" area. So she obeyed. It was the most amazing experince of her life. She said they saw 30 people come to the Lord in one night and she was on the streets in Mexico witnessing and sharing Jesus with people - not very safe! :)

At this part of her story - I was smiling. I understand people's fear of traveling and ministering in the unknown countries - for me, that's not scary though. That's exciting. So I was really happy for her that she stepped out in this area and experienced God's passion for the nations and the lost.

She then went on to say that she has been walking through this with her kids. They pray that God will bring people into their lives that need to know Him that they can talk to. So it's been happening! They will be out in town and pray and God will bring people in their paths that He wants them to talk to! And the kids are the best - they are the most bold, knowing that God is speaking about this person and that they need to talk to them Now. The mom is like me- you walk by and know God wants you to speak to someone, but you think, well, if they are there when we walk past again, I will talk to them then.

This is where the uncomfortableness set in yesterday. She also said that everytime they pray, she prays that the Lord will give her the time to talk to people. As adults we get wrapped up in time - we have to be here at a certain time or leave at a certain time, kids don't really have that worry or idea yet.
Ok - so I am a full time missionary. I have all the time in the world to tell people about Jesus - it's my 'job'. And yet this mom with her job and 2 kids has talked to 6 people in the last week and I, with my missionary life and my baby, haven't talked to one in probably 3 weeks! Ouch.

This is the area beyond my boarders. For some reason, talking to people here is my fear, it's the dragon I face everyday. P.Tom was talking about how God calls us to live beyond our boarders - to take risks for Him and do His work. To go beyond just walking in our giftings, but to walk by faith. We all have areas beyond the boarders of what we are comfortable doing. I think God is calling us to look at those things and step into those areas in faith. 2008 can be an amazing year with Jesus if we are willing to step into the unknown and take some risks. I pray that in January of 2009 I can look back on this year and be amazed by what I allowed God to do in my life - that I won't look back and think that it was a spiritually boring time.

Sir John Franklin discovered the St. Lawrence River and mapped most of the Northwest Territories in Canada. On the map he was re-creating, there were areas that said "Here be Giants, here be Dragons, here be Scorpians." As Sir John went into these unknown parts - he crossed off everyone of those statement and simply wrote "Here be God".

May that be the truth in my life. May I step out of my comfort zones and apathy and face down the dragons in my life that I may simply say - Here be God.

Much needed Time away

2007-10-27T11:07:00.001-07:00

This week Will and I took off and went to San Fransisco with Eli. It was great. We only went for 2 nights - and we stayed at the YWAM base. Some of you know what the YWAM base is like and wouldn't neccessarily call it a place for vacation - but it was great. Interesting in that the only room they had had bunkbeds - so Will and I slept on two bottom bunks! But it was fun. We went to our favorite Indian resturaunt - Nann-N-Curry - YUM! And then on Wednesday we went to Alcatraz. We've never been there and it was really interesting with beautiful views and interesting history. There was a special tour we took about the myths of Alcatraz and we were able to go into some restricted places. Pretty cool - there are tunnels if you were wondering, but the ones in the movie The Rock are hollywood! We spent the afternoon out there and then made our way back to the base for some rest before dinner. My feet were killing! San Fran means LOTS of walking - but it made up for not going to the gym all week.

We went to the Cheescake Factory for dinner - it was really nice. We were way too full for cheesecake though so that was disappointing! We ended up at Cold Stone later after walking around, but I do love ice cream! We also walked around a lot of the big stores, it was fun looking around and seeing what the city has to offer.

Thursday we went to China town - I've never been before and so it was fun to see. All the stores have the same chinese stuff though - so it gets old kinda fast. We went to get a silk little boy outfit for a family on staff, so we were looking for something in particular and all the sales ladies are very persisent!!! We only spent about an hour there - but it was nice. Eli slept the whole time so it made it easier.

On our way home we went to my Favorite store - IKEA!!! I was super excited. We were able to find some great deals and get some more lighting for our dark little house. I can't wait to set everything up - I think it will make the house more homey!

Anyway - it was a great time way. Thanks to everyone who gave to us to make that time possible!

Then - yesterday was our staff fun day. Every October we go to a pumpkin farm - Avila Valley Barn- and enjoy the fall colors and activities. They have a hay maze (large and small for kids and adults), lots of farm animals - Eli LOVES chickens!, and a hay ride which we skipped this year. They also have a market with baked goods and fresh fruits and veggies - and a gift shop - oh! And Sweet Shoppe which is so yummy - they have locally made ice cream in all the best flavors. We took Eli in his cow costume and got some great shots. Then we switched clothes just to have some family pictures - it was a great day. I love this time of year.

Side Spliting Laughter

2007-10-22T20:18:00.000-07:00

This weekend was our church's ladies reatreat. We went up into the hills above Santa Cruz to this camp for the weekend. Seriously - I haven't laughed so much or so hard in a long time! It was such a blast! We had 8 girls in our cabin - we were prety much the young loud cabin! I missed Eli and Will, but it was so fun not to have responsiblity and be able to do whatever I wanted! We got there Friday and enjoyed our evening with all the ladies - worshiping and getting some great
teaching. After that we played Dutch Blitz with 8 of us! (Two decks!) It was super funl They were smart and had loud room (late night talkers) and quiet rooms, but unfortunately, the walls were thin so no matter how they situated it, we were loud above the quiet ones. The ladies below us were wondering what in the world we were doing with all the loud stamping on the floors, the laughter, and name calling! :) My friend Liz had some creative names she came up with when we were faster than her! Oh man - it was so funny.

Saturday we had the afternoon free and they had a ropes course that ended in a 265 Ft. zip line! We went and had a challenging good time! I've done that a couple times before, but I still freaked out on one part of the course - starting tearing and almost bawling my eyes out! (Will has made fun of me several times over now!) But I think it was a spiritual thing. It was about trust and letting go and God was really working in paralells for me! As soon as I took that first step out onto the log away from the tree I was fine the rest of the time, but man it took about 5 minuates to take that step! The zip line was great! I screamed so loud, but it was so fun! I think I have a bruise from the attracktive harness you wear while up there! I also learned to clog dance! Our theme was celtic christianity and one of the ladies at my church clogs and taught us a brief dance - it was my cardio for the day - let me tell you! I learned that clog is a irish word for time, so clogging is just keeping time with the music - some very fast music! But I'm glad I learned - it was super fun and another time of good laughter!

The camp also had this huge slide - it was a water slide without water that you go down on burlap sacks! I keep saying fun - but I can't think of another word - it was SUPER Fun!!! We broke the rules (opps!), and went down in a train, it was crazy - and fun!

Anyway - we also made up this game called bockey. It's hockey with balloons. I seriously think I bruised my ribs laughing so hard. The video below is of me and Bethany playing against each other. At one point she is trying to hit the ballon from between my legs and keeps hitting my butt - this is when I collapse on the floor laughing and Bethany wins! Oh well, it was seriously the funnest game ever - too bad our balloon stick popped before we could get the most enjoyment from it! :)

Anyway - a good weekend overall - with fun and girlfriends and God speaking so much and doing so much in us all. I'm very thankful that I was able to go - and VERY thankful for my wonderful man to stay home with Eli for 2 nights and let me get away!

Joy

2007-09-19T21:09:00.000-07:00

Here's some pictures of our joy - Eli. These are from the 1st of September. Will bought him the camo cap at old navy - it's super cute!

The memorial service was today for our friend Zac. It was really beautiful. A celebration of the life that he lived. He made a serious impact on a lot of people, and inspite of the sorrow we feel at the loss, there is a definate sense of fullness - he did a lot with the 28 years he had. He touched so many, and I know that everyone around him is left with many happy and meaningful memories.

There were a lot of babies at the service too. There is something sweet about new life being around during times of loss. It really helps put things into place. For every season you know? A time to live and a time to die.

I'm just very thankful this evening. I'm thankful for my family, for my husband, for my son. I'm thankful for life, for the time we are given and for the things God allows us to do. We are blessed. And to think that this is not the end, death is not the end for us and how beautiful is that!

Being with Jesus for eternity is what we have to look forward to. And that is a whole other blog.

Death

2007-09-17T13:57:00.000-07:00

A distant friend's husband died on Friday. Death really puts things into perspective. All I could think was that she could be me. Zac was only 28. 28. It was a motorcycle accedent, really a tragidy.

We took Holen with us to Mississippi two years ago. That's when we became friends. Of course, over the last 2 years we haven't really hung out much - life gets busy, and we live on opposite sides of the county - it's sad really. But we would see them every so often at church or game night, and we did super bowl together a few years back. But I really like her. She's quirky, and I like that a lot. Her and Zac had been married 2 years then - they were learning communication stuff (a life long lesson) - we had some really good talks. She is a really hard worker - but she's quiet and I think was taking awhile to adjust to moving to the central coast.

Zac was from here. He went to high school with me - a year or two older. I didn't really know him well, but my friends did. I remember when I was pregnant - he was so funny about it! We saw them at church and he was going on and on about how he couldn't believe there was another human growing inside me - he loved to hear about how wierd it was. It's a really fond memory.

So 2 years ago Holen and I were in Mississippi - and now she is a widow. And it makes me think... What if I'm a widow in 2 years? It could happen. We're all the same, we all break the same, we all breath the same, we're all dust... It makes me see how important today is. We always hear that right - it's in the Bible. Don't worry about tomorrow, today has enough trouble, don't plan for tomorrow, you don't know if you have one... But I get it this weekend. I see how close death really is. We really don't know what tomorrow holds. Holen didn't know that those were their last moments - their last dinner, their last kiss.

The sad part of my revalation, is that I know it's temporary. I will live in this aware state for a little while - but it will fade. I will all too easily slip back into my complacent life, not thinking about making the most of every oportunity because it may be my last chance. My last chance to do it, or my last chance with someone else. But it's a good temporary revelation - I'm trying to make it a lifestyle while I can so it will last.

As for Holen, I haven't talked to her yet. I tried calling, but I had to leave a message. My heart is breaking for her though - everytime I think of her, I think that it could be me, and it hits close to home. I ache for her, I can only imagine what it is like to actually walk through - I pray I won't have to. I pray for her all day long - for peace, for comfort, for people to surround her and lift her up. For the strength to take it one day at a time. Death is so hard for those of us left behind - even when we know they left to be with the Lord, we are still left with emptiness and knowing we won't see them on this earth again, and that is really hard and really sad. I can't help but cry everytime I think about her - about Zac's family.

Death really sucks.

Books are like Friends

2007-08-08T22:08:00.000-07:00

It's sad when their over - it's like saying good bye.

I finished the last Harry Potter book tonight - for those of you who haven't read it (and are planning to) I will not reveal a thing. But when a series finishes that has been a long standing thing in your life, it leaves kindof an emptiness when it's over. I feel very content with the way things wrapped up, but I do have a sense of loss (don't laugh) that there is no more looking in on Harry's life and interactions with all the other characters that have become like friends in my imaginary book life. It's sad to think it's over - no more looking forward to more books coming out and more adventures of Harry Potter.

Silly, you may think, but so true to my heart. I'm tempted to read it again, not only to catch the things I missed as I sped read through the exciting parts to find out what happens, but to enjoy these last moments of Harry Potter (the book - not neccessarily the character) one more time.

So, farewell Harry, Ron, and Hermonie - until we meet again next year when I start to read the series over from the start.

Too Tired

2007-07-23T20:46:00.000-07:00

Accomplishments:
I've been walking everyday.
I'm trying to be in the Word everyday, but not quite making it everyday.
I feel I'm eating slightly healthier.
I'm getting Eli on a schedule.

Felt Defeats: (I know I'm not defeated, just feel that way)
I haven't slept more than 3 hours at a time in 8 1/2 months.
YUCK

Sleep Training. I walked to the Library this weekend and checked out 5 books and a video about infant sleeping and how to get your baby to sleep through the night and not need you to fall back asleep when they do wake up. I've read about crying it out, the quick check method (another cry it out solution) and now I'm reading the No Cry Sleep Solution. I like this one the most. We are moving in 6 weeks though, so I don't want to really start anything before we move, and Eli is teething with his 2nd tooth and so it's not a good time anyway. So i'm trying to prepare - getting into good habits. Set nap times, and bedtimes, bed routine, meal times, etc - trying to get his body's clock in line with ours... pray it goes well!

I'm tired, of course, so I gotta go.

Worthy of posting

2007-07-16T21:41:00.000-07:00

My friend Jeremy emailed this out after one of our YWAM intercession times last week. I think it's definately thought provoking and no matter your political stance, worthy to read and contemplate. Here's to Jeremy..

Dear Friends and Family

This is really random, but I felt like I needed to share a perspective I got from our YWAM Interecession time this week. Every week our YWAM staff pause on Wednesdays and spend time praying for each other, our local community, the nations, or various issues from around the world. It is the Intercession Facilitator's role to pray during the week, hear from the Lord about what to pray for, and then lead our staff in our prayer time. Cody leads our Intercession time right now (actually it is "Worship, Intercession, and Spiritual Warfare" time) and he led us in a time of praying for President Bush.

Now first let me say, that we don't usually pray for political issues at our base. I mean, we usually pray for staff issues or for the Central Coast or for the nations to come to know Jesus. These are the things at the front of our minds and ministry. So, when Cody said "President Bush", it threw me off a bit, to be honest. But, knowing that the Bible tells us to pray for and submit to those in "authority" over us, I decided it was most likely God's leading.:)

But, I didn't expect what came next. The picture I got in my mind was some of the humerous items for sale at Urban Outfitters and other novelty stores that like to poke fun at Mr. Bush. The picture was me walking up to novelty items and looking down at them, expecting to see a funny picture of Bush with devil horns or a ridiculous hand-puppet of Bush with a silly expression on his face and mixed up words coming out of his mouth, mocking some speech he had mixed up in the past.

But, what I saw instead, in my mind, and to my surprise, was a picture of my dad... and yours. It was like I was watching the face change to a bunch of dads I know and to people that I respected. The devil horns were still there and puppet was still there, just the face changed. And it made me sad to see the dads and loved ones we respect being mocked.

Then it came... conviction. I knew what God was trying to tell me... or part of what He was trying to tell me. President Bush is a person. He is a dad and a husband and a son. He is a child of God. What if it was my dad, or yours, that was being mocked and slandered online and at the stores and on TV? What if others thought it was funny to find your dad tripping over his words and then making a clever spoof with digital technology and passing it on to the world? The thought nearly brought me to tears when I let it sink in.

Many of us are outraged at the thought of "redemptive violence" being used and justified by our government in the concept of "war on terrorism". BUT... then we intentionally degrade a fellow human being's identity and character. We try to "make a point" by destroying a person's reputation with jeering insults and "mockumentaries", or join in with others as THEY do it. It like a mob mentality, but instead of taking a life, we kill the soul of another and explain it away as "keeping them accountable"... or by explaining how lives are being taken overseas. But, we are willingly ruining a life here. I've heard it said that anytime we hurt a fellow human being, we loose a little bit of our humaness.

Then I got to thinking about what the role of the Church and those that follow Jesus IS in relation to Mr. Bush. Should we be those that criticize and jump on the bandwagon of the mockers and media? Should we be those that blindly believe everything that we're fed from the administration and "just submit" to and agree with whatever our authorities tell us to believe? It seems that there are two major camps out there: those that harshly criticize and mock our President and then the other side that blindly excepts all that he does. It's hard to know what to do.

So, I try to keep it simple. I think that Bush is a person that God loves. I think that it would hurt me to see my dad or brother or friend screenprinted on to mocking mugs... and it probably hurts God when He sees us doing this to another person that He loves and died for. Maybe I (part of the Church) should stop jumping on bandwagons and start making them. Maybe I need to repent for joining in with the jeering crowd and see Bush as my brother and someone that God loves... just like the terrorists. Maybe I should also make sure that I don't buy into all the "redemptive war" nonsense that the Bush administration may be giving. Maybe we need to read the words of Jesus and both believe them and try (with the help of the Holy Spirit) to live them. Jesus said "love you enemies". This could mean those overseas, or to some of us, even President Bush.

Personally, like how Samual served King David. He was David's personal prophetic advisor. He didn't mock him or criticize him infront of the nations, but he also didn't agree with him all the time or let him get away with sin. He heard the word of God and firmly corrected David. Maybe that is a better example of the role of the Church; stand for love and righteousness instead of for "conservatives" or "liberals". What if Jesus really meant that we were to love our neighbors and enemies? What if that means loving terrorists and President Bush as ourselves. What if there were three options: Conservatives, Leberals, and Christians?

Any thoughts back are welcome. These are just some thoughts and questions.
-Jeremy Sizemore

It's a no go

2007-07-11T21:52:00.000-07:00

I'm holding out a bit longer. "I can't be bothered" as my friend Beccy always says. Facebook, Myspace, seriously - it's all a bit much. Facebook is good - but more people I know are on Myspace, and I just decided not to do it for a little while. I think finding a new background for my blog made me feel better and more creative so I didn't need to create something new.

Anyway, that's it for today. I need to order some pics of Eli from Costco so I can get working on his baby book - I'm so bad at that right now. And it's 10 already and I can't believe it! I feel really awake, but actually -now I feel really tired. Wow - that just hit pretty hard. Hopefully I'll get more pics of Eli to post tomorrow.

OH WAIT! I'm so excited I almost forgot! I got a new cell phone today! I had my new every 2 upgrade for Verizon and I ordered it online this weekend and it came today! I got a Motokrazor - it's super nice!!! And it's RED! I love it. I can take pictures, I can even take video! And I can play music and it's bluetooth so next year when it's illegal to talk on the phone in CA without hands free - I can use it!!! It's so nice, Will's envious. Finally I have something he can be jealous of! But I did say he could play with it....

My new Phone - only mine's RED!!!

Tempted to cross over to the "OTHER SIDE"

2007-07-07T13:08:00.000-07:00

So, I'm tempted to start a myspace page. I have held out so far, and I really don't think I'll keep up with it much, but it seems people like posting notes on pages instead of emailing, and it may help me stay in touch with my far away friends better. Anyone have reasons why I should or shouldn't???

Other news - Eli is super cute of course. He is seriously trying to walk! It's crazy - he thinks he can sometimes and lets go of the furniture! Thankfully, he has quick reflexes and usually catches himself. He is 8 months today - Can't believe it! Where does the time go - how do they grow so fast. I find myself getting the itch again to have another one - I know it's crazy. We aren't seriously going to try until after he turns one, but he is so fun, and he loves playing with other babies, I want to give him a little sister! :) We'll see...

I'm going to get a new cell phone today - I'm pretty excited. I get a free upgrade and if I order it online I can get a super cool one for free - but Will is making me go to the store to see if they have any good deals first. I'm also going short shopping. I have one pair I don't like that much, so I need more -it's hot here.

Anyway, that's it for now. I want to see if I can find a cooler background for my blog page. Here's some recent pics of Eli!

At the playground for the first time!

Getting the camera

Playing on I-5

Peek-a-boo

With Great Grandpa Jack

I can stand by myself!

Where does time go?

2007-06-23T09:40:00.000-07:00

My sister graduated high school last week. It was pretty wierd. I could remember my own graduation like it was last week, but my 10 year reunion will be next year! Crazy. I fee old. I also discovered that when my youngest sister graduates in a few years - I'll be 30! She won't even be 20 and I'll already by 30! Yikes. It's funny to think back to high school. I know some people hated it, but I had a pretty good high school experience. I had good friends, was involved in different ways and extra stuff, had a lot of fun, and 'gasp', enjoyed learning! In some ways I miss high school - in others I would never go back. I miss the friendships that have been lost, I miss the stimulation of learning, I miss the lack of serious responsibility, I miss football games and mascoting, and I miss singing in a choir. I don't miss the drama. Uggg. I hated that part. The stupid friend fights, boyfriend battles, breakups, consoling friends who broke up, getting prom dates (or not), and the endless wondering of what the future holds and what I should do, and if that guy really likes me or not.

I much prefer my life now despite the heavy responsibility, the stress that comes with paying bills, relying soley on God for provision, and trusting Him with everything. I love having a family- begin married and now having a son. I love our work. I love experiencing other cultures and traveling to other countries. I love not dealing with petty drama, and learning how to lead others through and out of it! And I love watching Eli grow up - though it makes me sad every day when he learns new things and is becoming a big boy. It makes me want another little baby - but NOT YET!

Eli is 7 months now. He has one tooth on the bottom - it's super cute! He is crawling all over the place - and he has learned to pull himself up to stand on pretty much everything! It's driving me crazy! Yesterday I went in to the room when he woke up from his nap and he was standing at the end of the crib throwing things off the dresser onto the ground! So funny and cute, but I can't let him know that! I keep saying - I don't think this is funny mister. Last night he woke up at midnight and I was trying to put him down, but everytime I layed him down he rolled over, crawled to the rails, and stood up smiling at me. I told him it wasn't funny and he started laughing! How can you not laugh? Uggg- Will was up with him for an hour after that trying to get him back to sleep.

He is still not sleeping through the night - driving us slightly crazy - but some nights are better than others. I'm not ready to let him cry it out yet - it just seems too harsh right now. Not to mention he sleeps in our room and less sleep for him is less sleep for us! Oh well, we'll work on it.

We're going back to Portland on Monday. I'm pretty excited about going up there. It's going to be fun. We're squishing in a car with Jer and Val - so that will be fun. Eli's first super long car ride - hopefully it goes well!

Anyway - gotta go for now. My men are sleeping and I have to make the most of my time!

2007-06-09T11:05:00.000-07:00

Last night our DTS graduated! It's sad and happy at the same time. I will miss everyone SO much, but I'm exhausted and ready for it to be over. Most of our students are gone, there are a few left but they will all be gone by Monday. I don't like thinking about them being gone..

So on to other news. Based on my last blog - one of my friends ( I don't know if she wants to be named) read it and wanted me to be able to get the things God said I could.... so she gave me a super nice blender!!! I'm so excited - it even has a baby food setting, and I can't wait to start using it. I'm going to be researching baby food reciepes and start experiementing! She also gave me a gift card to VS so I was able to get some of the other nice things I wanted! I was so excited and that was such a BLESSING! Thank you Jesus (and my friend!)

For the next few days we are purely resting - I am so happy. I'm going to be talking Eli for a walk to the fabric store today to make a blanket for my friend's baby shower tomorrow... and my grandpa is coming in for my sister's graduation this week and so Eli will get to meet him! I'm so excited to see him -he is one of my favorite people!

Anyway, I'm going to go... I need to find some pics to blog next time -but I need to shower now!

Selfish Ambition

2007-05-18T13:58:00.000-07:00

Thank God Will's back! I am thrilled. We drove up to San Jose on Wednesday to pick him up - it was a good drive, Eli was sleeping until about 3o min before we got there - then he was screaming! Oh well. We got there an hour early so I stopped at a McDonalds and fed him and changed him and that- then we waited for Will at the airport! I'm super excited he is home, but it's hard because he is so tired still, and I'm just excited - doesn't exactly make a good match! He'll be back to normal in a day or two - then we can catch up since he's half sleeping through everything we talk about now anyway! : )

Today we found out there is a really good deal on a super nice guitar that Will really wants. It's really hard for me to justify spending so much money on a guitar (even though someone just gave us almost the exact amount). I had a really hard time letting it go and realizing it was ok for Will to get it. Part of me just wants to be really wise with our money, the other part is just plain selfish. A guitar for Will is actually a ministry investment. He plays for worship at our base, for our DTS, and he's starting to play at church - for him it's a tool, not only a hobby and something he loves. So I understand that and I want him to have nice things.

Here's my selfishness. I feel guilty when I want to buy a blender or a food processor to make my own baby food or buy nice underwear (not from Walmart) because I haven't had any new ones since before I was pregnant. (Sorry for the info guys.) So for me to say - sure - spend all that money on a guitar, and then think bitterly about how I never spend anything on myself, is not only selfish - but really wrong. So I cried and I prayed and asked God to change my heart. I know that God provides for us - and he beyond blesses us. I mean - someone else just gave us another car! We have all we could ever need - it's my own wrong mentality to not buy things that I need, not even just want, because I don't think I deserve them.

God told me he wanted Will to have that guitar because he wants to bless him. He said it was ok for him to buy it. Then he told me to go buy a blender and some underwear. Thanks. It is kinda funny still - a guitar compared to underwear - but I couldn't think of anything bigger that I'd been wanting. And he also told me he will still provide for our necessities - for the money to register the new car and if Eli gets sick for the doctor. And I'm ok now. I know He will, because he's like that.

Will just got home with his new guitar - I have to go. At least he promised he'd write me a song.

baby obsession

2007-05-12T07:41:00.000-07:00

Eli and his new "pacifier"! He loves his duck!

I think that along with the inherent ability to know who their mom is, when they are hungry, how to suck, how to whine, and how to drive their parents to crazy, babies, well, especially boys, are born with the knowledge of the power of the remote control. Even now Eli longs to hold the "power stick" and be in control of the TV!

For Daddy

2007-05-11T10:04:00.000-07:00

Here's some videos for Will to see Eli from Africa

I have one more coming!

We love you Will

6 months

2007-05-11T09:47:00.000-07:00

This morning I was watching our friends little girl. Eli and her have a lot of fun together. Here's some pictures!

I need a camera

2007-05-09T21:00:00.000-07:00

Will took the memory card from our old digi cam to Africa with the new one, so I can't take pics of Eli! It's 2 whole weeks of undocumented cuteness! Seriously - he is so cute. He has this amazing grin he gives all the time now, it just gets me! And he is sitting so well, he rolls over both ways all the time, and he LOVES to eat! I'm going to try to borrow someone's camera so I can post some new pictures, and that way Will can see them from Africa.

Anyway- just a quick proud mama post.

OH - and if I do say myself, I am doing a swell job being a single parent. Not that it's easy - and I CAN'T WAIT for Will to get back, but I'm pretty proud of myself. I am tired, but I'll be tired no matter what. I also think Eli knows not to push me too far - he has pity on me and is treating me so kind! :)

I'll try to get pictures tomorrow!

Spiritual Backlash

2007-05-09T15:05:00.000-07:00

So - it's been a whole week! I can't believe it's gone so fast - but let me tell you, it has been a CRAZY week.

Will left last Wednesday.

On Thursday our cars broke down - yup - that was plural - BOTH cars in one day! I couldn't believe it! I cried, then I laughed. I was on my way to Walmart and about to pull in the driveway (in the Honda) when something snapped and the car shut off. I was able to coast into the driveway -but it's a narrow one lane, curvy, up hill driveway. Fun. Some guy had the nerve to tell me that I didn't pick a good place to park as i was getting Eli and the Stroller out! Ya think! To top it off, I forgot my cell phone at home. So I ran into Walmart - called Val and she came to get me. She had borrowed our other car- the Pathfinder - so she came with that. On the way back to the YWAM office the Pathfinder was making some weird noises, but we just added it the list of things for my dad to look at later. I arranged with my dad to come over after we was off work to look at the Honda. In the meantime, I needed to take Val home (about 20 min) because I needed the Pathfinder later, and she needed to get home.

SO - we start driving back to San Luis, and the car is making really horrible noises! I couldn't go faster than 50 and it's grinding something awful. I decide to give it a little more gas and see if it will go. Nope - it shuts down! YOU ARE JOKING - I thought. Thankfully we coasted to a pull out. It wouldn't start. So, we call our friend Jeremy - and he came to get us. (Oh- Val's car had broken down that morning with her husband - something was definitely going on with our cars that day!)

My dad came down and looked at them, but he couldn't tell, so I had to get both of them towed on Friday (thankfully my insurance covered that) to a friendly mechanic. He told me the Honda's timing belt went out - suck. We just got a new one last June when we bought the car- so I called the people that did that- they paid for it to get towed to them, and I'm still waiting to hear if they will cover the cost or not - I have to call today.

The Pathfinder may be dead. I need to call him later too. There was no oil or water (oops!) so I think the engine is shot! So sad.

So I was car less and stranded. Thankfully, Jeremy let me borrow his car on Friday to take car of our cars, and then the weekend I was with my family... Now I'm borrowing Lauren's car - she is in africa with Will.

This weekend was crazy too! My mom came and picked us up on Saturday, I did some stuff around her house and that afternoon we got a call that my grandpa (dad's side) was in the hospital! He's doing better now, but we drove up there to see him because they didn't think he was going to make it. Sunday all the siblings were there (there is 6 in my dad's family) and it really perked my grandpa up. He was released that day from the hospital. So we didn't get back to my parents house until Sunday at 11pm and then I was stuck there all day Monday until they got off work around 5. (They both went in at 7)

SO - all that has definitely helped the time fly, but I haven't gotten as much done as I wanted to with Will gone! Oh well - maybe this weekend!

Single Mommy Status

2007-05-02T21:35:00.000-07:00

Will left this morning - i cried. I actually cried in the middle of the night last night too when Eli woke up for the third time. Oh well - you do what you have to do right? I'm hoping tonight won't be too bad... I'm really trying to get him on a consistent sleeping and bedtime schedule and I'm praying that that helps him sleep through the night - since eating cereal so far hasn't.

I'm almost as sad about not going to Africa as I am about Will being away! I so wish I could have gone. I don't know how to explain it - but I guess it's like Africa is my soul's home - it just feels normal to be there and I love the people so much. American Idol is on in the background right now and they recapped their show last week of the fund raiser. There were all these people in Africa and all these kids and families - it breaks my heart to really think about not being able to go! At least it's a season - I know I will go again, and that makes it bearable. Not to mention that I am SO SO SO glad to have Eli - he makes everything worth it. (I just hate the 5:30 - 7 pm whining hours!)

I think I've done pretty good today though. I got out of the house and to my meeting on time, had a conference call (thankfully he slept through), got gas for the car, walked to the laundry mat to get quarters (to do laundry in the morning), straightened up the living room, did the dishes, gave Eli a bath, played with him, and put about 125 photos into an album. I'm pretty proud of myself! Hopefully all days are this productive as I have about a mile long list of things I'd like to do before Will gets back!

I better go - it's only 9:30 and I'm fading fast. I've decided that I don't care if I'm in bed early every day, I'm going to be a lot more tired in the next few weeks and I'll take all the sleep I can get!

Good night!

Home at last

2007-04-30T21:25:00.000-07:00

While visiting family is wonderful and I LOVED seeing everyone - there really is no place like home. I am so glad to be back in my own house with my own things and our own bed... although right now I am smelling a very foul thing that I can not find, so that's yucky! : ( We got home late on Friday nite, and Saturday I took Eli up to Cayucos to spend time with all the females on my dad's side of the family.

Every year in the spring we have a girls weekend called Sisters at Heart. My aunts have a sisters trip every year they go on, but they also wanted to have a time where they could gather with sister in laws, cousins, nieces, and friends and spend the weekend - thus Sisters at Heart was created. It's always in Cayucos, there's lots of ladies, lots of food, lots of wine, and lots of crafts. It's perfect;)

This year we made sun catchers out of mirrors and beads, mosaic flower pots, etched our own wine glasses, and made slipper shoes (I didn't do this one.) I really enjoyed my day. By the end of the day Eli was so tired though that he started screaming at everyone who tried to talk to him, so I didn't get to enjoy dinner with the family and made a quick getaway. Poor little guy. Musta been overwhelming to have 40 ladies all in his face saying how cute he was - I think it's overwhelming to be around everyone at times too!!!

Today we started back with YWAM again. Will has two days to get everything together before he's off to Africa. Well, he has one day left now. We have all the finances to get ready, I want to make the team homemade cookies (nothing like cookies after a month away!), and we have loads of laundry to do! (get the play on words? ha ha ha) It's going to be a busy day.

I'm not really looking forward to single momness for 2 weeks though. I can't imagine what these women do when they have more than one kid, or even just one, and have no support around. I at least have all my co-workers, and if things get really tough, I can take off and go to grandmas! I have a feeling that these two weeks will go a bit quicker with Eli around than they did when Will went to Nicaragua, but it's still 2 weeks, and being at the start of it - 2 weeks seems like forever!

So - drop me a line - I'll have some time (maybe not, with Eli all to myself!) - but I'd love to at least hear from everyone!

Be praying for my sanity! Eli is quite a handful now and I get exhausted sometimes from just one busy hour!

Who knew I had inner hair?

2007-04-25T19:39:00.000-07:00

This is from my friend Heather - I went exploring her blog and found this fun thing. i have to say I like the results!

Your Hair Should Be Pink

Hyper, insane, and a boatload of fun.
You're a traveling party that everyone loves to follow.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

Ear Infections

2007-04-23T19:39:00.000-07:00

Eli has an ear infection - it's really sad. He is such a happy baby, even when he is hacking up a lung he tries to smile! It's sweet. Today he had two coughing spells that were really bad. Wheezing, coughing, crying, choking up stuff - it was really horrible. He couldn't breath through his nose, so he couldn't eat and that made him really frustrated! We finally took him to an after hours pediatrician tonight and he said he has an ear infection and that his cold has worked its way into his lungs... so now he's on antibiotics and two inhalers - well, one is for really bad times, so it's only when necessary.

I really liked the doctor though. He was from Ireland -or Scotland (I know they are very different) -but he was kind and I felt like he took me seriously unlike the other doctor we took him to. I really don't like having a sick kid though.

We also went and got our family pics done today at the superstore - it went pretty well considering Eli was sick. We didn't get the really big grins he is famous for, but there were some pretty cute shots. I'll post them when I can get them onto the computer....

I have to go to bed now though - I'm really tired.

Idyl Time

2007-04-19T08:25:00.000-07:00

Recently I've finished a 40 day fast of TV, and I really can live without it. I think in a perfect world, I would just rent the shows I enjoy on DVD and watch them at my own leisure- but in a real world, that costs money and makes me even more of a slave to TV because now I have 20 episodes I have to watch in 5 days before they are due, and who really has time for that if they want to sleep at all?

I've also discovered how much I enjoy hearing about other mom's lives. So, while I am a very busy mom myself, and I complain to Will over and over how I never get to do anything I enjoy anymore or have me-time (essentially - I never scrapbook - which he jokes that I don't really scrapbook - I collect scrap booking materials), I will most likely now spend my "free" time reading other mom blogs that I randomly find on here - instead of making use of that time to do what I "want" to do. (don't tell Will) Except here in Canada, I don't feel bad because I don't have my scrapbook stuff with me, and thus the addiction to mommy blogs will begin here because I have nothing else to do, except watch TV.

Eli is so cute. Can I just say that I have the cutest 5 1/2 month old baby in the whole world? I really think he is the cutest in the whole world no matter how old, but as so many of my friends have babies, you learn to be specific so their kids can be the cutest babies too...
I've been going through all his pictures on our I-photo to get them printed, and here are a few of my favorites.

I finally did it

2007-04-16T08:28:00.000-07:00

So, I'm finally entering this century and am getting with it to have my own blog. Today I asked Will to show me how to post a blog - and he said no! His blog was titled Words with Will and sometimes Lori - how is it sometimes Lori if I never post? So, I decided, I'm just going to get my own... then I can do whatever I want and design it however I want and not have to go through Will. (He barely lets me change the desktop on our laptop - like I'd get to change anything on the blog page. :) )

Now I have to actaully do it though - I have a problem following through with things and finding time to even check my email as a new mom - so this will be a challenge. But - since I can write all about Eli - it may work out - we'll see. I have to do it well though - just to spite Will! ;)

So, I'm going to go figure out how all this stuff works - I'll add pictures and do better next time.