Pregnancy

Ok - so I LOVE being pregnant. I'm sorry to all you mommies out there that have a rough (and sometimes down right awful) experience growing a new one in your belly, but I actually enjoy the experience (for the most part!). I've heard all the complaints - the "I hate those women who positively glow when they are pregnant", or the "I can't believe any pregnant woman would put pictures of herself knocked up all over her house" - I am that woman. Ok, not really that extreme, I don't have prego pictures up in my house... yet... and I think I look pretty dang good, but other people keep telling me I do too. My face isn't fat, I only have slight swelling in my ankles (cankles), and I'm "all baby." I feel pretty good with the weight I've gained and I have a pretty positive outlook on my "recovery" period after. So if you are one of those women that hate women like me - you may want to stop reading now. :)

Besides the beginning of this pregnancy when I felt pukey and gross most of the time, I have felt energetic and good the rest of the time. Of course there are my moments of achey-ness, nausea, cramping, irritability, emotionalism, and you probably don't want to ask Will about his take on this pregnancy (or maybe you do to make you feel better), but it really has been amazing.

Which brings me to now, one week to go (maybe), and I'm trying to process this experience, and the fact that it may be the last time I bring forth a child into this world. That's emotional. There really is nothing more amazing to me (besides all the God stuff), than the fact that I have another life forming inside my body - that isn't part of my body. It's SO weird - and amazing. And the fact that I don't have to do anything to make it happen, I don't have to try to grow it, it just does it by itself. Amazing.

I think I've realized that when you don't have all the negative side effects of pregnancy, it is so much easier to enjoy all the really cool stuff. Like the way it feels when the baby moves - from the first tiny flutterings to the really painful rib jabs, I love it. I love watching my stomach bounce and bubble around, sometimes resembling what I think it would look like to have an alien inside. And amazingly enough, I love the way my body changes to adapt this little thing inside. It is quite extraordinary how my belly can stretch so much (and no, I don't have stretch marks, another blessing I know), and all my organs move around inside with really minimal pain and discomfort. Minimal is the key word here. I don't enjoy the enormousness of it, but still, it blows my mind to think of all the little changes that have to happen to make this little life possible. Again - amazing.

And now it's almost over. For the last few weeks people have been saying - oh not long now! - or the really rude ones, What - were you due yesterday? And I haven't felt like it. I have felt amazing. (key word for this blog obviously!) I am not super clear on the end of my other pregnancies, but I feel that this one has been the easiest ending yet. I didn't feel like I could go into labor anytime, I wasn't really feeling ready even. I have been patient for this girl to show up. Yes, I want to meet her, but I know it will be so much harder once she comes, especially with her two brothers already here. And again, if this is the last time, I want to enjoy every minute of this experience that only we as women can possibly have. I want to savor her movements inside (that's the part I always miss the most) - and the quiet moments when it's just her and I and already there is that mommy baby connection. These are the moments that matter, that I want to remember after I am holding her in my arms.

Now the crib is set up, her sheets are made, the laundry is done and folded in her drawers - I'm officially ready. And finally, I feel ready too. I am ready for her to come out now. I've enjoyed this time to the fullest, but the excitement of meeting her is overshadowing the excitement of her being inside. I've had the realizations that I can paint her toes, get her ears pierced, and see every blow-out as an opportunity to play dress up. I've had enough rib-jabs, stabbing downward pains, uncomfortable nights, and crazy belly dancing to see me though. I'm ready to drink beer and wine again, have all the sushi I want, and be able to sleep on my stomach. And I'm ready to want my husband to hug me again (we're way beyond intimacy issues here - I barely want to hold hands at this point! Poor guy. Sorry Will - it's not you, it's me.)

I'm still emotional, I'm not ready to say this was the last time yet. And if it is, I'm quite content to live in denial about it. I'm kinda expecting to have some baby blues after she's here - especially if I think about this being the last one. So I'm not there - that I need to process more. But I'm ready for her to come. I'm not crossing my legs and hoping she'll stay (well, I am for this weekend because my doctor isn't on call) inside for a week more. I'm sure by my next doctors appointment I'll even be ready for her to encourage this process a long a little.

But it's been a great ride (dang it, I'm tearing up). I am so blessed for these times of pregnancy and thankful that it hasn't been like the horror stories I've heard other people had. I'm so thankful for that. I've seen you friends go though really awful stuff, and I know I'm lucky. And I'm not trying to rub it in :)

So that's that. That's my take on pregnancy and I'm excited to post about newborns next time!!! :) And probably I'll put up some prego pics too (sorry) once my sister gives them to me.