Friday, May 18, 2007

Selfish Ambition

Thank God Will's back! I am thrilled. We drove up to San Jose on Wednesday to pick him up - it was a good drive, Eli was sleeping until about 3o min before we got there - then he was screaming! Oh well. We got there an hour early so I stopped at a McDonalds and fed him and changed him and that- then we waited for Will at the airport! I'm super excited he is home, but it's hard because he is so tired still, and I'm just excited - doesn't exactly make a good match! He'll be back to normal in a day or two - then we can catch up since he's half sleeping through everything we talk about now anyway! : )

Today we found out there is a really good deal on a super nice guitar that Will really wants. It's really hard for me to justify spending so much money on a guitar (even though someone just gave us almost the exact amount). I had a really hard time letting it go and realizing it was ok for Will to get it. Part of me just wants to be really wise with our money, the other part is just plain selfish. A guitar for Will is actually a ministry investment. He plays for worship at our base, for our DTS, and he's starting to play at church - for him it's a tool, not only a hobby and something he loves. So I understand that and I want him to have nice things.

Here's my selfishness. I feel guilty when I want to buy a blender or a food processor to make my own baby food or buy nice underwear (not from Walmart) because I haven't had any new ones since before I was pregnant. (Sorry for the info guys.) So for me to say - sure - spend all that money on a guitar, and then think bitterly about how I never spend anything on myself, is not only selfish - but really wrong. So I cried and I prayed and asked God to change my heart. I know that God provides for us - and he beyond blesses us. I mean - someone else just gave us another car! We have all we could ever need - it's my own wrong mentality to not buy things that I need, not even just want, because I don't think I deserve them.

God told me he wanted Will to have that guitar because he wants to bless him. He said it was ok for him to buy it. Then he told me to go buy a blender and some underwear. Thanks. It is kinda funny still - a guitar compared to underwear - but I couldn't think of anything bigger that I'd been wanting. And he also told me he will still provide for our necessities - for the money to register the new car and if Eli gets sick for the doctor. And I'm ok now. I know He will, because he's like that.

Will just got home with his new guitar - I have to go. At least he promised he'd write me a song.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

baby obsession

Eli and his new "pacifier"! He loves his duck!

I think that along with the inherent ability to know who their mom is, when they are hungry, how to suck, how to whine, and how to drive their parents to crazy, babies, well, especially boys, are born with the knowledge of the power of the remote control. Even now Eli longs to hold the "power stick" and be in control of the TV!

Friday, May 11, 2007

More Video

Here's one more!

He says I miss you dad!

For Daddy

Here's some videos for Will to see Eli from Africa

I have one more coming!

We love you Will

6 months

This morning I was watching our friends little girl. Eli and her have a lot of fun together. Here's some pictures!

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

I need a camera

Will took the memory card from our old digi cam to Africa with the new one, so I can't take pics of Eli! It's 2 whole weeks of undocumented cuteness! Seriously - he is so cute. He has this amazing grin he gives all the time now, it just gets me! And he is sitting so well, he rolls over both ways all the time, and he LOVES to eat! I'm going to try to borrow someone's camera so I can post some new pictures, and that way Will can see them from Africa.

Anyway- just a quick proud mama post.

OH - and if I do say myself, I am doing a swell job being a single parent. Not that it's easy - and I CAN'T WAIT for Will to get back, but I'm pretty proud of myself. I am tired, but I'll be tired no matter what. I also think Eli knows not to push me too far - he has pity on me and is treating me so kind! :)

I'll try to get pictures tomorrow!

Spiritual Backlash

So - it's been a whole week! I can't believe it's gone so fast - but let me tell you, it has been a CRAZY week.

Will left last Wednesday.

On Thursday our cars broke down - yup - that was plural - BOTH cars in one day! I couldn't believe it! I cried, then I laughed. I was on my way to Walmart and about to pull in the driveway (in the Honda) when something snapped and the car shut off. I was able to coast into the driveway -but it's a narrow one lane, curvy, up hill driveway. Fun. Some guy had the nerve to tell me that I didn't pick a good place to park as i was getting Eli and the Stroller out! Ya think! To top it off, I forgot my cell phone at home. So I ran into Walmart - called Val and she came to get me. She had borrowed our other car- the Pathfinder - so she came with that. On the way back to the YWAM office the Pathfinder was making some weird noises, but we just added it the list of things for my dad to look at later. I arranged with my dad to come over after we was off work to look at the Honda. In the meantime, I needed to take Val home (about 20 min) because I needed the Pathfinder later, and she needed to get home.

SO - we start driving back to San Luis, and the car is making really horrible noises! I couldn't go faster than 50 and it's grinding something awful. I decide to give it a little more gas and see if it will go. Nope - it shuts down! YOU ARE JOKING - I thought. Thankfully we coasted to a pull out. It wouldn't start. So, we call our friend Jeremy - and he came to get us. (Oh- Val's car had broken down that morning with her husband - something was definitely going on with our cars that day!)

My dad came down and looked at them, but he couldn't tell, so I had to get both of them towed on Friday (thankfully my insurance covered that) to a friendly mechanic. He told me the Honda's timing belt went out - suck. We just got a new one last June when we bought the car- so I called the people that did that- they paid for it to get towed to them, and I'm still waiting to hear if they will cover the cost or not - I have to call today.

The Pathfinder may be dead. I need to call him later too. There was no oil or water (oops!) so I think the engine is shot! So sad.

So I was car less and stranded. Thankfully, Jeremy let me borrow his car on Friday to take car of our cars, and then the weekend I was with my family... Now I'm borrowing Lauren's car - she is in africa with Will.

This weekend was crazy too! My mom came and picked us up on Saturday, I did some stuff around her house and that afternoon we got a call that my grandpa (dad's side) was in the hospital! He's doing better now, but we drove up there to see him because they didn't think he was going to make it. Sunday all the siblings were there (there is 6 in my dad's family) and it really perked my grandpa up. He was released that day from the hospital. So we didn't get back to my parents house until Sunday at 11pm and then I was stuck there all day Monday until they got off work around 5. (They both went in at 7)

SO - all that has definitely helped the time fly, but I haven't gotten as much done as I wanted to with Will gone! Oh well - maybe this weekend!

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Single Mommy Status

Will left this morning - i cried. I actually cried in the middle of the night last night too when Eli woke up for the third time. Oh well - you do what you have to do right? I'm hoping tonight won't be too bad... I'm really trying to get him on a consistent sleeping and bedtime schedule and I'm praying that that helps him sleep through the night - since eating cereal so far hasn't.

I'm almost as sad about not going to Africa as I am about Will being away! I so wish I could have gone. I don't know how to explain it - but I guess it's like Africa is my soul's home - it just feels normal to be there and I love the people so much. American Idol is on in the background right now and they recapped their show last week of the fund raiser. There were all these people in Africa and all these kids and families - it breaks my heart to really think about not being able to go! At least it's a season - I know I will go again, and that makes it bearable. Not to mention that I am SO SO SO glad to have Eli - he makes everything worth it. (I just hate the 5:30 - 7 pm whining hours!)

I think I've done pretty good today though. I got out of the house and to my meeting on time, had a conference call (thankfully he slept through), got gas for the car, walked to the laundry mat to get quarters (to do laundry in the morning), straightened up the living room, did the dishes, gave Eli a bath, played with him, and put about 125 photos into an album. I'm pretty proud of myself! Hopefully all days are this productive as I have about a mile long list of things I'd like to do before Will gets back!

I better go - it's only 9:30 and I'm fading fast. I've decided that I don't care if I'm in bed early every day, I'm going to be a lot more tired in the next few weeks and I'll take all the sleep I can get!

Good night!